By now I know you're either thinking, "ufck this guy", or "so what's the answer, wise guy?". And to that I say, here are my suggestions from awesome to "still better than the Sea Dogs".
1. The Washington Sports Teams.
Seriously. Could you imagine? It's bad ass. It sounds like a super team. That's intimidating as shit. Like, damn. I think I would like football. Hell, I'd even buy season tickets.
2. The Washington Bills.
This is extra good because ufck New York.
3. The Washington Football Players.
Another brilliant idea, if I do say so myself. Just test it out..
"Gooooo Football Players!"... shit, I don't know enough football expressions..
"The football players blitz! They're going to the Super Bowl! Touch down, football players!"
"This week the Washington Football Players beat the New York Giants!". Ufck New York.
4. The Washington Warlocks.
This would pair well with the Wizards. It would also piss a bunch of you off. Good.